Wow! What a ride 2018 was, and 2019 shows no signs of slowing down. I feel for most people, including myself that 2018 was maddening, depleting, and forceful. The cosmos wreaking havoc on our personal and professional lives. I am happy to say that I did make it out unscathed (and I hope you did too). I noticed when I started this process that the journey was not going to be easy; and although it had its happy moments (but when you’re living in the moment) — you can become jaded on the bad and overlook the good– until the year passes and you are looking at “YOUR YEAR IN REVIEW“.
To recap, my real soul-searching journey began back in February 2018; I broke up with my boyfriend of 15 years and moved to a different city, was working on my capstone for my BA, finishing my yoga teacher training and working full-time! And when I look back on it now, I don’t even know how I managed to handle ALL the adjustments and transformations that was happening (good, okay and bad) without falling flat on my face (like I wanted too). Internally, it was hard, it was horrible and there was times where I just wanted to quit everything and hide under a rock. Externally, it was all smiles and life was grand.
Remember when I said, February was when my real soul-searching journey began? Here I was going through a yoga teacher training, and I was NOT living, speaking, or believing in my truth. I felt like a TOTAL FRAUD. I was a complete mess on the inside, but still showing up to the training, and listening to one of the most influential people I have met in my life. Silently, I would sit on my mat and as she says “in your shit” and work through my discomfort and battered soul, trying to be optimistic about the future. I discovered and uncovered so many different layers about myself that I will forever be thankful for.
Let’s fast forward a few months, I graduated from yoga teacher training (feeling more like I am working through my fire and incorporating each path of yoga accordingly) and from school with my BA. It was amazing, I felt accomplished and at this point I was beginning to appreciate change a little bit more as I was working through my shit. I began to feel this momentum build like I want more change. And for the longest time I would always see quotes that if you are not happy with something change it, quit it, leave it or move it. So, I began to adopt that philosophy (perseverance) and started with my job. No work/life balance. So, I quit. Toxic friendships. leave it. Car. Changed it.
And it was then. That I realized I had the power to basically do what I wanted. I was not limited except for the ones I have created. I was loving the possibilities that I was creating for myself and it gave me a unparalleled outlook on life. The best part was I begin teaching for the studio I graduated from, I started my graduate degree and even found an amazing new job!
When I reflect back on the year, what I saw as bad turned out to be actually in the best interest, and what I thought was good, well didn’t really end up serving me well in the end. But, the greatest thing about it all is that it led me back to what I enjoyed it most. Writing. I am happy to be back and sharing my journey.
Hope you gain a new insight, routine, perspective or simply just knowledge from Candidly Candace to share with those special in your world as I do in mine.