A Year in Review: It Opened My Eyes

Wow! What a ride 2018 was, and 2019 shows no signs of slowing down. I feel for most people, including myself that 2018 was maddening, depleting, and forceful. The cosmos wreaking havoc on our personal and professional lives. I am happy to say that I did make it out unscathed (and I hope you did too). I noticed when I started this process that the journey was not going to be easy; and although it had its happy moments (but when you’re living in the moment) — you can become jaded on the bad and overlook the good– until the year passes and you are looking at “YOUR YEAR IN REVIEW“.

To recap, my real soul-searching journey began back in February 2018; I broke up with my boyfriend of 15 years and moved to a different city, was working on my capstone for my BA, finishing my yoga teacher training and working full-time! And when I look back on it now, I don’t even know how I managed to handle ALL the adjustments and transformations that was happening (good, okay and bad) without falling flat on my face (like I wanted too). Internally, it was hard, it was horrible and there was times where I just wanted to quit everything and hide under a rock. Externally, it was all smiles and life was grand.

Remember when I said, February was when my real soul-searching journey began? Here I was going through a yoga teacher training, and I was NOT living, speaking, or believing in my truth. I felt like a TOTAL FRAUD. I was a complete mess on the inside, but still showing up to the training, and listening to one of the most influential people I have met in my life. Silently, I would sit on my mat and as she says “in your shit” and work through my discomfort and battered soul, trying to be optimistic about the future. I discovered and uncovered so many different layers about myself that I will forever be thankful for.

yoga

Let’s fast forward a few months, I graduated from yoga teacher training (feeling more like I am working through my fire and incorporating each path of yoga accordingly) and from school with my BA. It was amazing, I felt accomplished and at this point I was beginning to appreciate change a little bit more as I was working through my shit. I began to feel this momentum build like I want more change. And for the longest time I would always see quotes that if you are not happy with something change it, quit it, leave it or move it. So, I began to adopt that philosophy (perseverance) and started with my job. No work/life balance. So, I quit. Toxic friendships. leave it. Car. Changed it.

And it was then. That I realized I had the power to basically do what I wanted. I was not limited except for the ones I have created. I was loving the possibilities that I was creating for myself and it gave me a unparalleled outlook on life. The best part was I begin teaching for the studio I graduated from, I started my graduate degree and even found an amazing new job!

When I reflect back on the year, what I saw as bad turned out to be actually in the best interest, and what I thought was good, well didn’t really end up serving me well in the end. But, the greatest thing about it all is that it led me back to what I enjoyed it most. Writing. I am happy to be back and sharing my journey.

Hope you gain a new insight, routine, perspective or simply just knowledge from Candidly Candace to share with those special in your world as I do in mine.

As always,

Xo,

Happiness is a Journey, not a Destination

Today, is a day of deep reflection. I am excited and blessed to be at the point I am in my life but something is yearning for more. When I look at my recent accomplishments, I feel one would chuckle a disbelief as how I could feel this way. Well, let me tell you it not so much acquiring the things that we most desire, but rather once we obtain those things we want it no longer seems as appealing as it did when we didn’t have it.

I don’t expect to have the all the answer at one time, and I am sure I should be enjoying the “freed up” schedule. However, I am not. I am looking to dive right back into the comfortable & familiar, as much as I wanted to stray away from it. So, I ask myself, what am I afraid of? What am I scared of?

I guess, one would think the unknown? But, the unknown looks so adventurous and mysterious why wouldn’t I want this path? Why wouldn’t I want a clear schedule and a do what the f! I want, at any giving time? No textbooks, no nagging, no stress just a careless stress free living for a year or so?

These questions I have often pondered since I knew I was going to have a clear schedule eventually. And as anyone imagine it was filled with beach ,trips and hanging out gazing at the stars.

A previous professor once said, “that you may feel a sense of emptiness, once you realize that you are no longer striving for purpose, you tend to have a moment of what now? When you realize that the intended purpose was not the real purpose at all, yet you made it your center of reality. “

So, I say to the unknown or unfamiliar, as much as I want to run back and hide. I want to embrace this new chapter of my life. They say, you cant read the same book expecting a different ending..

#whatareyouafraidof?

Share your thoughts!

Xo,

A Toast To the New Year!

Hello and Happy Saturday!

This is our last Saturday of 2017!

I hope that there has been new intentions set for 2018! Make them manageable, meaningful and attainable! Goals are great but don’t get so caught up in the intentions/goals that you forget why you started!

I hope that this new year brings great opportunities, challenges and change! Change is good, change is needed and change is inevitable so embrace it!

Be safe, Be happy, be you!

I will see you next year!

Xo,

#MondayMotivation : 10 Things to Be Happy About!

Happy Monday!

Monday’s are hard! Now, its colder out and darker earlier, long lines and holiday shopping; I think we all need a little boost to make it through until the new year motivation hits! I wanted to start this week with a gratitude list! I often do this for yoga teacher training and I must say that putting the pen to the paper is a lot easier than raddling them off in your head. The pen to paper idea is fun as you can look back days, weeks or even years from now to see if you were grateful for repeated throughout each day, week or month.

The list does not have to take up to much of your time (if you don’t want it too). You can bang it out in the morning, throughout the day or for the previous day. You can start with 5 and then work your way up to 10 or even 15-20!

But let’s do baby steps!

Start with five, until you find your rhythm, because with any new routine it takes a minimum of 21 days!

Let’s get started ( I will start with 10 today):

Meditation
Music
Family (had a really nice weekend with my sister, mom and dad. Doesn’t happen to often but when it does, I feel blessed)
Morning Talks
When I clear my email by the end of the day! 🙂
When I meal prep! (Helps me start the week off in a positive way and I feel better)
Downtime at work (usually not a lot but 10 minutes is good for a nice refresh)
Monday night Yoga Teacher Traning
Lattes
Sleep

Of course answers will differ, and you may think that what you wrote down is silly or insignificant. But, it is not. It actually makes you appreciate the small things in life that we often take for granted!

What would your gratitude list look like? #Shareyourlists!

Hope you have a wonderful Monday!

Xo.

Take A Breath & Enter the Unknown

Happy Tuesday! I was sitting in my kitchen on Sunday afternoon, listening to music in my headphones (per usual), working on my sutras.

However, I began to think, I am mean really think of what am I doing? What are my intentions for the day, week, year etc. I have a love for yoga, the meditation, the spirituality, the letting go. I loved it so much, I decided to get my license. I am now 8 months into the teacher training and my first intentions when I started, have dramatically changed to were I am now.

Yoga, as we all know has many benefits. But, the inward and spiritual work that you do with yourself is truly transformational. You become hyper aware of YOU. It tells you when your not living your truth, being good to you, and to get rid of those things that are no longer serving you physically, mentally and emotionally.

And says to life “let that shit go” .

We all need to feel a little empowered ever now and again, to know that the direction you are heading in is the right one. A way to make your self feel better by saying that you are were you need to be and that everything else will work its way out. I mean what happens when we wait? I like to think we watch for the wrong things and tend to miss the good thing that could have been memories had we just took a breath and entered the unknown.

We are trying to become and do so many things as once, that we often forget to take a breathe. We overthink every situation, instead of just letting it happen. We work ourselves to death, rather than finding a job that lets our creative side shine. They always said the best things in life are free. Have we lost that too? Have we gotten so caught up in trying to impress other people that we loose sight of what is actually important? What happens when we just live, when we just go to work and do what we can and not rush the day or let that one person ruin your day. What happened to just going home to a hobby you love or a book that you haven’t been able to finish because of life getting in the way?

A few posts back, I touched a little bit on the subject and then incorporated into the 5 things I learned post. But I think that it bears repeating. We need to get into a positive mindset, one that empowers you when there is no one else around. I believe taking time for yourself, whether its for 5, 10 even 15 minutes, you did something for you.

I was very excited when I started this post because I encounter the greatest thing when I just took a breathe and entered the unknown.

I have been struggling with getting into the crow the pose, it was my worst asana but I knew I had to eventually try. I never breathe during the pose which is also an issue, and it causes a lot of trouble. So, when I finally did it, I did it without hitting the floor (like I usually do).

In the moments leading up to completing the pose, you often only think I cant do this, I am going to fall. Yeh, you might but get back up and let that shit go!

Xo,

The Impact of Pure Thoughts

It is a rainy Sunday morning. I am studying my yoga asanas and sutras for my license, drinking my perfectly made latte from Dunkin Donuts while listening to one of my favorite songs.

Yoga teaches us to free our mind of negative thoughts and look at the world from a possible place of peace. Our teacher tells us to journal, as it releases emotions that have laid dormant and hold dark or remorseful feelings that have embedded within our being.

The art of free writing can have an impact as you don’t necessarily need a topic.

On this morning, I decided to free write, and what I discovered was amazing. The idea is to “let that shit go” (as my teacher says). Just let the pen hit the paper (or fingers hit the keys).

It started, “A pure thought”, followed by “What is a pure thought”, next “Do I have pure thoughts” and then ,”What is purity”? In a world that is constantly putting us in a box or category, it is easy to loose focus of what is pure and if our actions are pure.

The Yamas and Niyamas, teach us that purity or the purification process is visually and mentally different for everyone. This is the case in every aspect of our lives. The end result however, we are ALL looking to “lighten the load” and release those things that no longer serve us. Purity gets deeper, it also tells us that each moment should be as it is.

The current moment, the howling of the wind as the rain taps vigorously outside my window, how a sip of my warm latte feels, or how the keys beneath my fingers freely type.

The moments we have are different for everyone, but the outcome the same..

Purity, there is no thought in what we are doing, just the moment that you are in and that is contentment, there is no other place you need to be or have to be.

The day lead you where it may, and do not question how it flows. Live in the moment that yo are in, not the “task” or “I should be”, thoughts.. Our light guides us to those things that interest us, so let the purity of your light guide you.